Your Sibling Just Became Your Mum’s Attorney: What Happens When Family Members Disagree on an LPA

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Your mum has made a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA), and your sibling has just become her attorney.

You are worried. Perhaps decisions are being made without consulting you. Perhaps money is leaving Mum’s account, care arrangements are changing, or your sibling simply refuses to explain what is happening.

Family disagreements over an LPA can feel personal, frightening and urgent. You may be asking yourself: Can I stop my sibling? Can I cancel the LPA? Does being Mum’s child give me any legal authority?

You may also be worrying about what happens if nothing changes. If you do nothing now, will the same decisions still be happening in three months? In six months? In a year? That fear is real, especially where money, care and trust inside the family are all wrapped up together.

The short answer is that family members cannot simply override a registered paper LPA. However, that does not mean you are powerless if you have genuine concerns.

If nothing is done, the position can become harder with time. In three months, your sibling may still be making decisions you are deeply uncomfortable with. In six months, money may have moved, care arrangements may have changed, and the evidence may be harder to gather. In twelve months, the situation may be so entrenched that the only realistic route is a costly Court of Protection application.

That is why early action matters. Checking the document, gathering evidence and taking advice at an early stage gives you the most options and the best chance of protecting Mum.

The right next step depends on what type of LPA Mum made, whether she still has mental capacity, how the attorneys are required to act, and whether there is evidence of wrongdoing.

First, check what the paper LPA actually says

A classic paper LPA is a signed and witnessed legal document which must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) before it can generally be used.

There are two types:

  • Property and financial affairs, covering bank accounts, bills, pensions, investments and property.
  • Health and welfare, covering matters such as care, medical treatment, daily routine and where someone lives.

Mum may have made one type or both.

The wording of the document matters. It should show:

  • Who Mum appointed as her attorneys.
  • Whether the attorneys must act jointly, meaning together on every decision.
  • Whether they can act jointly and severally, meaning independently or together.
  • Any instructions or restrictions Mum included.
  • Whether replacement attorneys were appointed.

If the attorneys must act jointly and one of them refuses to cooperate, important decisions may become blocked. If they can act jointly and severally, your sibling may have authority to act alone, provided they remain within the LPA and comply with their legal duties.

Classic paper Lasting Powers of Attorney document folder beside a pen and reading glasses

Being next of kin does not automatically give you control

Many families assume that all children have an equal right to make decisions for a parent. Unfortunately, that is not how a registered LPA works.

Mum chose her attorneys. Once the paper LPA has been registered, an appointed attorney has legal authority within the scope of that document. Being her son or daughter does not automatically give you the right to access her bank account, direct her care or veto decisions.

That can be difficult to accept, particularly if you believe your sibling is making poor choices. But disliking an attorney’s decision is not necessarily the same as proving that the attorney has acted unlawfully.

Your sibling must still:

  • Act in Mum’s best interests.
  • Follow any instructions or restrictions in the paper LPA.
  • Help Mum make her own decisions wherever she can.
  • Take account of Mum’s wishes, feelings, beliefs and values.
  • Keep Mum’s money separate from their own.
  • Keep proper financial records.
  • Use Mum’s money for her benefit, rather than their own.

An attorney is not allowed to treat Mum’s savings as an early inheritance. They cannot use her money simply because they believe they deserve it, or because other family members have always done things differently.

What if Mum still has mental capacity?

This is one of the most important questions.

Mental capacity means the ability to understand, retain, weigh and communicate the relevant information needed to make a particular decision. Capacity can vary from one decision to another. Someone may need help managing complex finances but still be able to decide where they want to live or who they wish to visit.

If Mum still has the capacity to understand what her LPA does and the consequences of changing it, she may be able to revoke it.

Revoked means legally cancelled or brought to an end.

To end a registered paper LPA, Mum generally needs to make a written deed of revocation and send it to the OPG with the original LPA. She should obtain proper legal advice before taking this step, especially if there is already conflict within the family.

Mum may also wish to change who acts for her. That could involve ending the existing arrangement and making a new paper LPA, or taking advice about whether a partial revocation is appropriate in her circumstances.

Do not cross out your sibling’s name on the original document. Do not write new instructions onto it. Handwritten alterations do not safely change a registered LPA and may create further confusion.

The government’s guidance on ending a Lasting Powers of Attorney explains the formal process. A solicitor can help you understand whether Mum has capacity and what action is legally available.

What if Mum no longer has capacity?

If Mum no longer has the mental capacity to revoke or change her LPA, she cannot simply sign a new document to remove your sibling.

That does not mean an attorney has unlimited freedom. It means that concerns must be raised through the proper channels.

You can report concerns to the Office of the Public Guardian. The OPG may investigate matters such as:

  • Unexplained withdrawals or transfers.
  • Money being spent on the attorney’s personal expenses.
  • Refusal to pay Mum’s essential bills.
  • Failure to arrange necessary care.
  • Decisions that appear to benefit the attorney rather than Mum.
  • Refusal to provide reasonable explanations or records.
  • Acting outside the powers given in the paper LPA.

Keep specific evidence. Dates, bank statements, emails, care records and details of conversations are likely to be more useful than general claims that your sibling is “being difficult”.

If you believe Mum is at immediate risk, contact the relevant emergency services or safeguarding team as well as taking legal advice.

Can the OPG remove your sibling?

The OPG can investigate concerns and may take action. In serious cases, matters may be referred to the Court of Protection.

The Court of Protection can consider whether an attorney should be removed, whether the LPA should be ended, or whether a particular decision needs to be made on Mum’s behalf.

Removal is not usually ordered simply because siblings disagree. There needs to be a proper reason to believe that the attorney is unsuitable, has breached their duties, is not acting in Mum’s best interests, or cannot continue to act effectively.

A serious breakdown in trust may be relevant, particularly where it prevents Mum’s affairs from being managed properly. However, a court will focus on Mum’s interests rather than deciding which sibling has “won” the family argument.

This is why early advice matters. A poorly prepared application, incomplete evidence or emotionally worded complaint can make an already distressing situation harder to resolve.

Try to reduce the conflict before it becomes litigation

Not every family disagreement requires a court application.

If there is no immediate risk, consider asking your sibling for a calm discussion. You could request:

  • A general explanation of recent decisions.
  • Confirmation of how Mum’s bills and care are being managed.
  • A meeting with Mum’s GP, care provider or financial adviser, where appropriate and with the necessary consent.
  • Regular updates about significant decisions.
  • Mediation with an independent professional.

Mediation cannot force an attorney to surrender legal authority, and it is not suitable where there is suspected financial abuse or an urgent safeguarding concern. But it can help where the dispute is caused by poor communication, different expectations or old family tensions.

A clear written record can also help. Keep communications factual and avoid accusations you cannot prove. The aim is to protect Mum, not to intensify a family battle.

Two adult siblings meeting a solicitor to discuss a classic paper legal document

When should you speak to a solicitor?

You should consider speaking to a solicitor if:

  • You suspect financial abuse.
  • Your sibling refuses to explain major financial decisions.
  • Mum’s care or living arrangements are at risk.
  • The attorneys cannot agree on an important decision.
  • You need to understand whether the attorneys act jointly or jointly and severally.
  • Mum may still have capacity and wants to change her arrangements.
  • You are considering contacting the OPG or applying to the Court of Protection.

A specialist lpa solicitor can review the registered paper document, explain the attorneys’ authority and help you identify practical options. A private client solicitor may also advise on connected matters involving Wills, family assets, care planning and probate.

At Tyto Law Solicitors, we understand that these disputes rarely feel like ordinary legal problems. They affect your mum, your family and your peace of mind.

We provide advice as lasting power of attorney solicitors to clients across England and Wales, including people looking for a solicitor Lincoln or a solicitor Crowle. Our offices serve Lincoln and Crowle, North Lincolnshire, and we can arrange appointments at your home, office or online, including during evenings and weekends where suitable.

The initial consultation fee is a fixed £175. This fee does not apply to Wills, LPAs or Probate.

The simple first step

Do not try to cancel the paper LPA yourself. Do not confront your sibling without understanding the document and the evidence. Start by taking three practical steps:

  1. Find a copy of the registered paper LPA.
  2. Write down the specific decisions or transactions that concern you.
  3. Arrange a conversation with an experienced solicitor before the disagreement develops into lengthy legal processes or expensive litigation.

You may be able to resolve the issue through communication, mediation or a carefully structured request for information. If more serious action is needed, we can help you understand the OPG and Court of Protection routes.

Family disputes are painful. But taking advice early can help protect Mum and reduce the risk of a distressing court battle. Contact Tyto Law Solicitors to have a chat and put your mind at rest.

Sources and further guidance

This article provides general information about the law of England and Wales. It is not a substitute for advice about your individual circumstances.

About the author

Oliver Saxon, Principal Solicitor at Tyto Law Solicitors

Oliver Saxon : Principal Solicitor

Oliver Saxon is the Principal Solicitor at Tyto Law Solicitors. He advises individuals and families on Lasting Powers of Attorney, Wills, Probate, disputes and other personal legal matters. Oliver is committed to providing clear, practical advice without unnecessary legal jargon, with flexible appointments available through the firm’s offices in Crowle, North Lincolnshire, and Lincoln.

Category: Lasting Powers of Attorney